


Still here

by Imhereatm



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Domestic, F/F, but i think you might cry, i wrote this at 2am after a crying session
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imhereatm/pseuds/Imhereatm
Summary: The title says it all really.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Still here

“Ah shit, it’s pissing rain again,” she curses the heavens as she closes their bedroom window she forgot about before they took that nearly one-hour long shower. The water bill next month will not be cheap. As much as they try to save water by showering together, they’ve found that there’s not a lot of difference to the water bill whether they do or not. And with Dani forgetting to turn off the tap so often lately… she shakes her head. ‘Let’s not dwell on that tonight. One day at a time.’ She reminds herself.

The rain had started not five minutes ago, but when she pulls back her arm, she finds the cuff of her favourite long-sleeved shirt nearly soaked. Lucky enough the wind isn’t strong enough yet to bring the pouring rain past the windowsill. 

“This damn torrential rain is a pain in the arse,” she huffs changing into one of Dani’s night shirts. It’s been raining every night the past week.

Dani’s currently double-checking their inventory and making sure that their accounts are in order. Jamie isn’t one for keeping track of the paperwork, so Dani had taken charge of that. She had tried to tell Dani to do the paperwork on a weekly basis, but the blonde woman was adamant that she’d do it every night.

Jamie makes her way to the kitchen. She sees Dani packing up the paperwork and filing them away. The blonde woman looks up at her with tired eyes but still smiles like she isn’t tired at all. “Will I make tea?” Dani says playfully. 

“We both know the answer to that.” Jamie goes to making tea as Dani makes her way to hug Jamie from behind. She perches her head on the brunette’s shoulder and sighs contentedly.

“I love you.” Dani kisses Jamie’s cheek.

“I love you too.” Jamie turns her head and gives Dani a quick peck. In the first few years of their relationship, it had only been a handful of times when she said those words first. It has always been Dani who said it first.

It was six months after they left Bly when Dani said it first-- a couple of days after Christmas. She had said she just wanted to let Jamie know, and that Jamie didn’t have to say it if wasn’t ready yet. It had taken her aback at first. They had agreed to take it one day at a time. She had not dared to let herself hope for too much. And yet she had let Dani in- more than she had ever let anyone in. And as the days and months passed by, she had felt the itch to say it back to Dani. So, six months later, a year to the day they left the manor, she went to their flower shop with the moonflower she had secretly been looking after cupped in her nervously shaking hands and she said it there and then. 

The day Dani had basically asked her to marry her, she had said it first. Those three words carries so much weight that she didn’t say it too often, she showed her love in other ways. But every time Dani had said them, she said them back without hesitation. However, these past few years after that incident with the plate, she had made it personal quest to say it more often.

“Here you go love,” Jamie hands Dani her mug. “Reckon it’s time to go to bed. You look exhausted.” She notices the slight look of panic in Dani’s eyes. She tries to act like she didn’t. She knows Dani would apologise profusely for worrying her, but she also knows something has been changing.  
‘I said not tonight.’ Jamie berates herself. 

“Yeah, I reckon you’re right. It’s getting late and with this rain, we’ll sleep like logs.” Dani attempts to brush away whatever gave her that look of panic by imitating Jamie’s accent. She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Jamie puts on her famous crooked smile to help Dani feel at ease. They can talk about whatever it is that’s bothering Dani tomorrow. For now, the blonde obviously needs some sleep. They both do. She breathes out a sigh of relief as Dani’s eyes now return a genuine smile. 

‘One day at a time.’ Jamie reminds herself. 

They make their way to their bedroom. The air has a slight chill to it. The two women snuggle in close to one another generating their own heat. And with their tea helping them warm up, it doesn’t take long for the chill to disappear.

With their mugs empty, the comfortable warmth they’ve generated and the steady rhythm of the rain against the windowpane, the two drift off to sleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jamie jerks awake. The first thing she notices is the warmth has gone. She reaches out for Dani only to be met by empty space. Her heart races. She keeps her eyes closed. ‘No, not yet.’ She thinks to herself trying to steady her breath. 

In the silence of the room, she hears her pulse pounding in her ears and the rain battering the windowpane. Then, she hears a slight creak of the floor. Her eyes open immediately. There, by the window, she makes out Dani’s silhouette. 

The moment the curly-haired brunette pushes the duvet off of her, goosebumps form all over her body. The room is freezing cold.

Jamie turns on the bedside lamp on Dani’s side. Dani looks to be frozen in place, her right hand on the windowpane. She’s murmuring something Jamie can’t hear.

When she gets closer, she can see Dani shivering. Jamie rushes to put the duvet over Dani’s shoulders. The blonde doesn’t seem to notice Jamie taking her hand off the windowpane and standing in front of her. 

“Dani,” Jamie rubs her hands up and down Dani’s arms trying to warm her up. Dani doesn’t respond. The former au pair is looking through her, still murmuring something. “Dani, luv, can you hear me?” she tries to control her shaking voice. “Poppins?” 

Dani gasps and looks around in panic. She pushes Jamie off of her causing the both of them to stumble back- Jamie against the windowsill, her on the floor after slipping on the duvet.

After recovering from the sudden shock, Jamie tentatively moves closer to Dani. She crouches down, consciously making her movements careful and slow. Dani is curled up hugging her knees to her chest making herself as small as possible. The blonde woman is repeatedly saying “I’m so sorry.” 

When she thinks she’s a good distance from Dani- not too close as not to frighten her- Jamie tries again. “Dani, luv, can you look at me please?” Dani shakes her head and apologises again and again. “Please? Please don’t say sorry. Tell me what’s wrong.” Her voice cracks slightly and she feels a tear rolling down her cheek. She ignores it. “Poppins, talk to me.” 

The nickname seems to have an effect. Dani lifts up her head, “Jamie.” She doesn’t say anything else, just looks at Jamie, tears falling like waterfalls down her cheeks. Jamie envelops her in a hug. “She’s going to make me leave.”

Jamie pulls away from Dani. She tenderly holds Dani’s face with the palm of her hands, her thumbs brushing away the tears. “She’s not. She won’t.”

“Jamie—” Dani looks away.

Jamie gently holds up Dani’s face to have their eyes on the same level. ‘It’s too soon. Not yet,’ her heart screams. “Dani, you are still here. You’re here with me.” 

Dani’s eyes are on Jamie’s but it’s the same as it was earlier. She’s looking through Jamie, not seeing her. For a moment, Jamie thinks she saw a shadow behind Dani’s eyes. “She’s making me leave.”

“No, no. Dani, look at me.” Jamie takes one of Dani’s hands and cradles it against her cheek. “Poppins,” she tries the nickname again- it seemed to be the one thing that made Dani look at her, and it proves right.

Dani’s eyes focus on Jamie’s as the brunette repeats, “You are still here. You are here with me.”

“Oh, Jamie,” Dani says bringing her other hand up to caress Jamie’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry, my love,” Jamie tries to smile but the tears she has been trying to hold back fall and don’t seem to want to stop. She manages to say “I love you” before her voice can betray her.

“I love you too Jamie.” Dani’s eyes gain more focus as she rubs away Jamie’s tears. Jamie in turn erases the remnants of Dani’s tears that left trails down her beautiful, gorgeous face.

When Jamie’s tears stop falling, Dani traces the lines on her face—from her eyebrows to her nose to her lips and back up to the fine lines on her forehead. Dani continues this small ritual, committing every detail to memory and as every moment passes, the shadow behind her eyes disappears. Every time Dani stops her small ritual to look Jamie in the eyes, Jamie utters the same three words— “You’re still here.”

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed that in some of the scenes where Viola's presence was very strong, it was pouring rain so I ran with that idea.
> 
> Though I don't know where this fits in the timeline exactly.


End file.
